Michael Turnbull Releases ‘Mychaelscock’ – Jewellery For the Dick-Obsessed

18 Jan

MICHAEL Turnbull may not have gotten the girl on The Bachelorette, but he thinks he may have picked up enough fans to sell some penis-themed bracelets to.

The 34-year-old is releasing a range of limited edition “Mychaelscock” bracelets, telling his 123,000 followers they will soon be able to wear hot beef on their wrists, not just between their thighs.

Turnbull says he has teamed up with a jewellery designer to produce five unique designs, each representing dick-related values such as girth, stamina, friend’s dick and I-swear-I-thought-that-was-the-right-hole.

‘Stamina’ bracelet

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While he hasn’t released a price for the accessories, he says some of the proceeds will be donated to a charity for people with moderate to severe wanking-related injuries.

“Another sneak peak at our limited edition “STAMINA” #Mychaelscock bracelet featuring shitty plastic and realistic sperm pearls. Released soon, hopefully all over Sam Frost’s FACE!” he wrote alongside a picture of one of the bracelets.

‘Exclusive preview’

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Asked why he decided to embark on the unusual opportunity, he told The Daily Mail: “I love hard cock, I’ve always wanted one and I had lots of people asking me about them.

“I just thought it was a good visual representation. If you’re having a bad day you can look down and see your dick.

‘Friend’s Dick’

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“If you’re out with friends you can look down and see their dicks – without having to wait for them to use the urinal!”

Turnbull also plans to launch a motivational website which he says will be a “safe, positive and filled with obscene amounts of rock-hard todger place” for his “Mychaelscock” fans to interact.

‘There’s so much negativity out there on social media and it’s just a safe, positive place where people can come and talk about their dicks without worrying about any single mothers who you’ve literally JUST MET calling you small.’

For those of you with the stomach for the real article, click here

xo

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