Bachelorette Sam – Davey Sent Home; Gets Sainthood on Way Out

9 Oct

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Hola lovers!  Welcome to the first anti-Sam backlash of the season, and all because a cheeky little gremlin called Davey stole a half-pash and stoked the Frost’s fires of revenge!

Oh, look, we aren’t saying that Sam was ever actually interested in Davey – goodness no!  What we mean is that she was quite happy to have him tag along and fill the chairs at the Cocktail party until his time came, and probably would have given him a sweet little send-off including a walk to the car and something gushing along the lines of ‘you’re going to make someone out there really, really happy’, but then he just had to take advantage of the Frost’s slow reflexes, didn’t he, and in doing so sentenced himself to the land version of what Tony got last night – only instead of sharks it was Sam’s brothers and a couple of crewmen waiting for him with crow bars in the car park.

Anyhoo, not many people like La Frost this morning because little larrikin Davey was somewhat popular and there are people who think she should have, at the very least, given him a Single Date and the chance to fart into his cupped hand and cover her mouth with it.

So what exactly has Sam Frost done wrong?  Exactly what Sam Wood did the night Emily walked out, that’s what.  And yet, male Sam was applauded for being honest enough to tell Emily exactly what he thought of her personality defects – despite the fact that she, like Davey, disagreed with his assessment.

Let’s be plain about something, shall we?  Davey is a 25 year old lad who presents as rather immature for his years and, at his own admission, tends to be seen as a ‘ladies man’.  This doesn’t make him a bad person, however, for someone looking for a serious commitment he’s probably not exactly what you’d pick up and put in your shopping cart.  Emily, on the other hand, presented as a high-maintenance ‘princess’ – again, doesn’t make her a bad person, but probably not the best fit for someone who hasn’t yet built up enough points for a black AMEX.  Neither of them seemed particularly sensitive to the plight of their fellow man/woman – Emily had no tolerance for Heather and was a snotty bitch to Nina; Davey was a rude little wang to Tony, and didn’t give a single fuck that Sam might not have wanted to kiss him –  and yet where Emily was immediately labelled the Child of Satan, Davey was forgiven for being a Cheeky Larrikin’, because Cheeky Larrikins, unlike the Child of Satan, don’t really mean it when they belittle or disrespect others, do they?

Somehow we think Tony would beg to differ.

Anyhoo, it’s not like us to defend the Frosty but consider that kiss from her perspective.  She didn’t want to kiss him.  He tricked her and, in doing so, rather cemented her fear that he was a touch on the juvenile side with little consideration for how she might feel.  As far as infractions go, it’s relatively minor, but considering she already had doubts is it really so odd that she would decide to send him home at the next opportunity?  And for all those saying her delivery was ‘haughty’ or ‘she had an agenda’ or that she ‘kicked him when he was down’, well, maybe that came from being plain pissed off with him and his behaviour and thinking that he deserved a gentle tap in the nuts.

Truth be told she was probably much more uncomfortable with the kissing moment than she let on.  Consider the circus date:  when it became clear that it was either Plumber Dave or Davey who would win the alone time, she became visibly uncomfortable and when Plumber Dave knocked down that winning clown, she practically flew into his arms – and not because she was desperate for more sewerage stories.

But, oh, the cheeky larrikin is just so beloved by Australian culture that we just cannot stand to see it insulted, can we.  To not love a larrikin is unAustralian and anyone who dares bring up the sometimes uncanny likeness between larrikins and wankers is accused of bullying or, even better, told to grow up.

Two thumbs up and four litres of boxed claret to the irony there, lovers.

It’s at times like this, though, that I think of David Witko, he who came with his own suite of anti-social behaviours – just not the larrikin kind that are so widely acceptable.

Ugh, we hate it when silly TV inspires us to write all serious, but come on he is not the heartbroken young innocent of Social Media’s fondest and wettest dreams.  He’s a bloke who saw an opportunity to come on the TV and have a bit of a laugh, and maybe, in the process, meet a nice girl.  He’s not a bad guy, but he is a guy who seems prone to doing silly things without thinking too much first.  He’d probably be super fun to have as a mate (providing you never passed out drunk around him) but, just as Sam Wood wasn’t looking for an Emily (or a Heather, sadly), Sam Frost is not looking for Davey, and she’s well within her rights to break it off with him and actually attempt to explain why.

Anyhoo, we suspect this might be a touch unpopular so we’re going to go to ground for a day or two and then post our normal slurry, drunken recappy mess which will include our shock that Richie is not a natural born ranga and our concern that he liked Sam a little too much as a geriatric and has anyone thought to flag his Internet search history.

xo Flawless



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