MKR – Sheri and Emilie, Eva and Debs Set for Head-On Collision

18 Mar

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Well after the previews for last night’s show, we can all be forgiven for expecting Kat and Andre and Robert and Lynzey to be the next teams heading to Sudden Death.  But in a shock episode that Rico never saw coming (because he’s usually not that lucky) instead it’s the queen of Resting Lemon Face and her hearing-challenged friend fronting up to the duo who scored THE HIGHEST SCORE IN MKR HISTORY – just not last night.

How totally awkies and incredibly exciting!

Anyhoo, because it was something silly called a ‘farmers challenge’ that meant every team got given an ingredient they had to show off – with half the teams getting sweet stuff and the other lot getting savoury.  Eva and Debs, of course, got beef and because they were riding high from the redemption round and being excused from the first group challenge, they decided an epic fuck up was overdue and – voila! – dry beef and Maggi noodles!

Sheri and Emilie, on the other hand, decided to give Granny’s recipes a well-earned break and instead take their core ingredient of berries and turn it into a budget, home version of the Wagon Wheel.

Rico, who has never had a Wagon Wheel that wasn’t down his throat and enjoying the high life in his belly within three seconds, reckons a split muffin and a smear of jam is a fucking cake sandwich, not the finest biscuit/chocolate bar of the modern world.

Anyhoo, elsewhere making us rub our hands with glee were Lynzey and Robert who’s at-home oven is apparently the fires of HELL because it cooks a cake in less than twenty minutes.  Then there was Josh and Rose who chose to showcase beetroot with clumpy pasta the colour of a blood clot, and Vicky and Celine who – miracle of miracles – managed to cook some lamb chops that not only made it to the table, but also down most of the farmers’ throats.

Farmers’ Choice award went to dapper chappy Steve and his swollen bag of friend, Will, who cooked stewed rhubard served with ginger biscuit.

That’s right, lovers, the farmers picked this over all the other dishes and, no, it didn’t look even remotely prettier than it sounded.

Skinny Pete also caused some controversy (not really) by saying he had two favourite dishes of the day:  Jac and Shaz’s lemon cake and Drasko and Bianca’s prawn curry.  The lemon cake we all agreed looked rather fancy, but the curry made both the Dog and Rico raise their eyebrows because it was Bianca’s decision to cook curry on a 40 degree day, and that means we have a new contender for Annie’s recently vacated position of Pure Evil.

Kat and Andre, for once, after a minor panic over the sauce, ended up serving a dish that made the judges enthusiastic to keep swallowing, and Kat’s face on hearing the positive news was so pinch-worthy Rico reckons he is prepared to forgive her for the promised plug on Sunrise which NEVER HAPPENED.

Sorry, lovers, after snubs from The Project, OK magazine and now Sunrise, we’re not sure how much more rejection we can take – sniff –

But then just like those iconic Neighbours lovers, Harold and Madge, who battled against amnesia, death and Madge’s fetid smoker’s breath, we are committed to you and will remain committed to you until someone pays us a ginormous sum of money to snub you in the street like a charity collector with a giant cold sore.

Until tonight, lovers!

xo Flawless

4 Responses to “MKR – Sheri and Emilie, Eva and Debs Set for Head-On Collision”

  1. moya March 19, 2015 at 2:32 pm #

    Rico, you can suck my comb over buddy, we tried but were cut off early by Koshi so just wait. you’ll get it you nasty, fantastic son on a bitch, you’ll have your moment

  2. moya March 19, 2015 at 2:33 pm #

    email me your deets we have a coupla perth based things coming up, email Rico

    • moya March 19, 2015 at 2:54 pm #

      yawns, ville, we’ll never get an email right? your loss. you big dag

      • flawlessvision March 20, 2015 at 9:47 am #

        You have vanished. Was it my last post? 😉

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