Long ago, long before the days of Reality TV cooking shows, legend foretold of a couple who would bring to the world food of such depravity, such indigestible horror, that not even the Devil Himself would accept it for his table.
Far and wide, people feared the prophesy, and when Masterchef and then My Kitchen Rules began to dominate their screens, they watched with increasing terror, that those who had been foretold would reveal themselves and lay waste to the tenets of palatable cooking. Forever.
And – Lo! It seemed their fears had come to pass, for amidst a group of frequently annoying, but not particularly heinous cooks, arose Lisa and Stefano, whose polenta made Italians rage to their Gods, and Australians refer to them henceforth with the C-Word.
And yet for all those who thought the worst was upon them, there were those who believed they were but pretenders, and that the true culinary apocalypse was yet to rise from the fires of foulest flavour fuckery.
And – Lo! Were these brave souls ridiculed! For no-one could conceive of a food that could sink to a greater depraved depth.
And yet still… It came.
And so, the people turned in their panic to the Man, the Woman and the Dog. Hoping that they could make sense of what had befallen; that they would help the people believe that the world was not yet lost.
But the Man, the Woman, and the Dog were powerless beneath the power of a single serving of Corn Soup. And the words that were supposed vanquish the beast and his chosen mate, died in their throats.
Doom, indeed, was upon them all!
That’s right, lovers. Sometimes shit is so bad we just look at each other, shrug and reach for Google Images.
And so, presenting:
David and Corinne – In Pictures