Following the uproar in which an ‘Australia EST 1788’ sloganed T-Shirt was yanked from Australian shelves, superstores Big W and Aldi have come up with the perfect replacement in time for Australia Day!
The new shirt, which bears the simple and completely non-marginalising slogan ‘I’m a cunt’, comes in the same flattering shade of ‘sauce bottle’ and lists sizes ranging from Newborn Bogan to Mega Bogan.
Supermarket representative, Irma Wenker, claims the new shirt has been ‘flying off the shelves’ and that it has been a solid hit with Indigenous shoppers, not just white Australia, with ‘bag checkers working around the clock’.
‘I’ve never seen so many different coloureds!’ gushes Ms Wenker. “I swear I saw an Hispanic carrying a Chinese baby! Is that even possible? Should I have called the police?’
One shopper, who identified himself as Tommy Abbott, said that even though he preferred the banned shirt, he was pleased that this one carried a similar sentiment and that he looked forward to wearing it on the big day surrounded by family, friends and plain clothes Klan members.
‘Being a cunt is a big part of being Australian’ said Mr Abbott. ‘I’ve bought one for each of my daughters!’