In news set to inspire creative peoples from around the globe, Justin Bieber has let go of his dick, picked up a spray can and let a wall have it – all in the name of ART! (Read: complete douchery.)
According to sources, Justin has been struggling with the knowledge that his post-puberty voice stinks worse than the last carrot in a car-spew and that it’s only a matter of time before even his most delusional fans notice the stench.
Rico reckons it must be hard for poor Justin to go from the sweet kid with the tiny lesbian haircut to an utter wanker with a Jason Priestley and less vocal range than four out of five Spice Girls, and that ART might just be his salvation from having his vocal chords forcibly removed and replaced with Delta Goodrem’s.
Seen above hard at work at a piece entitled: Selena is a Whore, Justin is rapidly making his mark as a boy who could easily become one of the world’s great artists – just as soon as hell freezes over.
According to a ‘good friend’, Justin first began to dabble in his craft using the natural spray can between his ass cheeks and only moved on to the more traditional medium when his mother slapped his face hard and threatened to put him back in nappies.
Rico reckons it’s a real shame examples of his earliest works aren’t available and that die-hard shit-lovers will just have to make do with Justin’s latest single.
Supporters of Justin’s career change include long-time buddy, Chris Brown, who took his fist out of a shopkeeper’s mouth long enough to comment that Bieber is a ‘true talent’ and Rihanna a ‘mouthy Jamaican cunt’.
Local council members aren’t so supportive, however, with Bieber himself ordered to take his ‘art’ and blow it onto a wall with a less sensitive gag-reflex, or risk being thrown in jail to share a bunk with one of his biggest fans.
Personally I think anything that takes Justin away from making ‘music’ should be encouraged, and anyone who believes watching a pair of assholes leaking all over each other would be preferable should really take a few minutes to enjoy the music video for Bound 2.